Recognition

Passed through customs again today only to hear the apple agent announce to his coworkers,

 "I recognize her! Wait till you hear her laugh!" 

I'm a legend.

Diversions

My InCharge and I are in line to pass through Customs, he approached the agent before me. As I patiently await my turn, I overhear him debating with the agent about the origins of an apple he is trying to bring through, and attempting to convince the agent that he is in fact adhering to the 'fruity' regulations.

This whole conversation strikes me as so absurd and causes me to laugh to myself.
He seizes my laughter as an opportunity to take the heat of himself, and begins to tell the agent (who has just taken notice of my laugh) one of my many embarrassing stories to exacerbate my laughter.
Needless to say it does the trick, and distracts the agent enough to stop caring about the apples, and allows my I/C to pass through unscathed.

Tricksy InCharge.

Iridescence

As I'm performing a final cabin check on descent, I notice the glow of what I assumed to be an electronic device that had not yet been switched off.

 "Sir, as we are landing presently, I ask that you please switch that off." 

Upon further inspection, and a look of utter bewilderment, I notice that it was in fact the glow of the overhead reading light reflecting off the absurdly white pages on a novel.

Goodness gracious, I suppose this is what exhaustion feels like.

Backhand

U.S.A Customs Official: "Are you sure this is you?" (Referring to my passport)

Unfortunate Passport Photo

 "Yessir! It was taken a few years ago"

 "My, my...You have certainly improved! Good job ;)
 [yes he winked]

... Thank you?

J-walking with a crew bag is an extreme sport, one that I have absolutely no business participating in.

Caught the bus though.

Flipping the bird.

Demonstrating how to fasten/unfasten a seat-belt is extremely challenging with a sprained middle finger. I may have inadvertently insulted to my passengers a few times.




Sorry.

Floundering Kiwi

This morning as I was going through American Customs. I forgot that there are certain forbidden fruits that are allowed/not allowed into the country. DUE TO THE FACT THAT EVERY AGENT SEEMS TO HAVE A DIFFERENT LIST. But I digress...

"What do you have written here ma'am?" Demands the Customs Official.

Dejectedly, I responded with "I wrote kiwi fruit sir..." 

"You are aware, of course, that I cannot allow you to bring any citrus through?"

Here is where I thought I'd use my wit to save my hide (and my kiwis)

"Of course sir, however, I do apologize, for I never meant to deceive you, but it is not a citrus I carry but instead a homosexual New Zealander".

He still made me throw out my kiwis.